Him that I wish, to be in a fairy tale

Kinda envious those who can have a data plan. /: Gonna try to request it from my mum again, since I start working again

I so miss you ):

Curfew, stupid mum

Forever one, forever

They never ever know the real feelings of me, never know when or why I cry/happy/sad/excited. Sometimes, I feel that, is my house just a hostel for me to stay. Somehow, I learnt to keep everything inside, secrets accumulating inside me, making me so difficult to breathe. So hard to say out, so hard. I still remember, when I got back my PSLE, got a lousy grade and could not get into Express. My mind totally went blank, close friends all went Express stream, yet I’m the only one into Normal Academic. Mum didn’t reprimand me, or should I say she did nothing other than asking me which school I’m choosing. She didn’t know I cried, she didn’t know I’m disappointed of my results. Got up to secondary, she hardly ask about my exam results. Good thing? N level, O level. She only ask when she thought of it suddenly. She never know, when I got my O level results back, how disappointing I was. She only know the aftermath part. Even when I’m going up polytechnic, she only ask me chose the one which is near our house. I know she want me to have enough sleep, but she didn’t even ask me whether am I ok with the courses provided by the polytechnic. I bet she don’t even know what course I’m in now. Since the day she know I got a boyfriend, she treat it as 理所当然. My bf should be able to send me to this place because she want me to go there take something. I don’t like, not as though my boyfriend will need to do everything I want him to do. My aunts too, make me feel so frustrated and irritated. How I wish I got a elder sister, who will be able to have a heart to heart talk with me. I’m enough of being alone at home, enough of being scared of the future in the night, enough of hiding secrets deep inside me. I’m tired, tired of everything. I wanna breathe…

好讨厌这种感觉。 为什么要当成理所当然。

Feel so sick now, sore throat, cough, and slight running nose. /: Coughing my lungs out ya, my throat so unwell cause I cough tons of times

Really dislike being in a team with this. Argh, spoiled my mood. Still need to tolerate for three weeks, kill me please. >:

Really envy those families which will celebrate some special days like Christmas, Anniversary and etc. My house seems to totally ignore it unless it is Chinese New Year. Even worse, only if we are going back to Grandma house then you can see a “whole family outing”, if we were to stay in Singapore, my parents will either go work or go out with their friends and leave me and my brother at home. I mean like, it’s a special day which allow family to spend time together, at least they make the effort to stay at home. It seems pathetic, me at home alone while you see your twitter/facebook people going out with family.

Even friends also. Probably after secondary school all of us drifted away. Especially those which are really socialable drift away more. Can’t feel the close friendship in it already, although through social networks there still a little bit of closeness, but in rl sometimes it is like awkward and nothing to say. Always, the one which say want to meet in the end is the most busy one and then could not meet us in any outings. Not to say that you can’t have any new friends, but at least make a effort to push all the things behind and then go out with your secondary girlfriends. Once in a month, not too much right? It’s been like damn long, for us all girlfriends have a full outing. I miss those times, really and I mean it.